Part 1: Belonging
Balance, boundaries and belonging –whenever I speak these three words to women, something immediately shifts. Heads begin to nod, shoulders soften, and someone inevitably whispers, “Yes, please—I need more of that.”
These 3 experiences aren’t luxuries or self-care extras. They are lifelines.
Each one is a doorway into a deeper truth we all carry: a longing for meaningful, soul-satisfying connection.
Connection to ourselves. Connection to one another. Connectionto the wider pulse and purpose of our lives.
This connection never fully disappears—but it does get quieter when we stop tending it.
This this time of year, many people feel more alone, more unsure of where they fit, or whether they truly matter. So, in this first part of our series, we begin with
Belonging– Why we need it. Why we doubt it. And how we can bravely, return to it.
Belonging is not something we need to earn. It’s a birthright we remember.
Let’s start there.
The Silent Toll of Disconnection
In my decades of helping people move into alignment and outof physical, emotional, and spiritual pain, I’ve seen first hand—both in my clients and in myself—what happens when we drift with our soul’s away from our soul’s path.
Disconnection shows up in many disguises.
Burnout, from holding too much. Isolation or alienation.
Coping strategies that numb instead of nourish.
I know this story because I lived it.
Twenty five years ago, in my late thirties, I was outwardlysuccessful, but inwardly exhausted and spiritually malnourished. I was a holistic chiropractor running two practices, a performing Taiko drummer, eating well, exercising. My life was full - yet, something invisible inside me was breaking.
My body sent clues—sleep problems, hair loss, heartpalpitations, swollen lymph glands—but I kept pushing them aside.
Then one day, with startling clarity, I realized: I didn’t want life the way I was living it.
I had been performing, feeding my ego, not my soul.
I faced a choice point, and I stepped back from doing.
Recovery required slowing down, turning inward, returning tonature, yoga, meditation, and stillness. It took time. From that quiet ground, a spiritual awakening rose through me —love and acceptance for my real self.
Judgment fell away. Creativity blossomed. Poems, songs, andinsights poured in. A joy I had never known took hold.
I founded Soul Spark Women’s Circles and The May Day Resilience curriculum was born. (More of this story appears in the best selling anthology, UnbreakableSpirit: 18 Stories of Feminine Resilience, Blessings, and Renewal.)
What I learned most was how to be in community.
Healthy connection remains the core of my work today.Because when women reconnect–to their inner knowing, to each other, to the
animating spirit of life, it ripples outward.
And research shows when women thrive, families andcommunities thrive. And when communities thrive, the whole world thrives.
We are living in precarious times, ripe with the possibilityto co-create, learn and rebuild. It is a time of renewal, not just destruction. Can you feel it? Spiritually engaged women are finding each other across continents, cultures, and screens.
Belonging: The Truth We Forget
Neuro-science reveals we are wired for connection. Ournervous systems evolved to attune, cooperate, and stay close. When connection feels threatened, the body reacts with alarm.
We know about fight, flight, and freeze...but there’s a fourth: fawning—people-pleasing to maintain safety through connection. It’s a survival instinct.
Many women criticize themselves for this, but it is ancient,biological. It is a wired survival instinct.
We already belong. The work is learning how to feel int,trust it, and return to it.
Belonging invites us to welcome every part of ourselves—theshiny parts, the shadowy ones, the playful, the resistant.
All of you is welcome here!
Why We Need to Belong—And Why We Doubt That We Do
The science of belonging is as profound as it is simple.Psychologist Shannon Brady’s research shows that a single belief—“I feel like there’s a place for me here.”
—predicts college retention even better than high school GPA.
Just imagine that: a student’s sense of fit matters more than their academic history.
Belonging is not a soft, emotional luxury. It is a catalystfor health, persistence, resilience, and growth.
The opposite is what psychologist Geoffrey Cohen calls belonging uncertainty—that subtle (or not so subtle) background worry:
Do I really belong here?
Is this space meant for someonelike me?
Am I welcome? Safe? Accepted?
Belonging uncertainty narrows attention and heightensvigilance. A small critique can feel enormous. A neutral glance feels rejecting. A setback can snowball into a downward spiral—especially for people from marginalized or underrepresented groups.
If you’ve ever walked into a room and felt suddenly unsureof yourself, even with all your credentials and experience, you know this intimately.
And this is why our work of remembering our inherent belonging— to our bodies, our soul, our communities, the earth—is not just spiritual. It is neurological, cultural, and profoundly human.
Belonging Interventions: Proof That Connection Heals
Cohen’s research offers surprising hope: belonging can be strengthened with simple interventions during key transitions.
In one study, first-year college students read shortreflections from older students who had also struggled with belonging uncertainty but eventually found their place. That tiny, hour-long intervention helped close the GPA achievement gap between Black and white students by 50%, with effects lasting seven years later, including higher career satisfaction.
Similar interventions in middle schools lowered absenteeism,reduced disciplinary incidents, and boosted academic outcomes.
Why? Because they helped students internalize two truths:
1. Feeling like you don’t belong at first is normal.
2. It gets better when you stay engaged and reach out.
This echoes what I see in Soul Spark Circles every month.When women realize that the experience of disconnection is part of being human—not a failure—healing becomes possible. Our practices strengthen our connection skills.
3 Practices to Cultivate Belonging
1. Stories of Our Shared Humanity
Reading or listening to the stories of others – and sharingyour own– helps us feel our shared belonging.
A few book gifts I recommend:
*From Broken to Unbreakable: The Comeback I Never Saw Coming, by Lori Vollkommer.
A midlife gymnastics comeback story reminds us that healing is rarely linear. An inspiring story for anyone who has ever mourned a dream, questioned their strength, or believed they'd missed their moment.
*Cherished Belonging, by Gregory Boyle
Founder of Home Boy Industries, the largest gang-intervention, rehabilitation, and reentry program in the world, Boyle teaches that we are all inherently good (no exceptions), and we belong to each other (no exceptions).
*Unbreakable Spirit: 18 Stories of Feminine Renewal, Blessings, and Resilience.
Includes my chapter, "Reclaiming Sacred Radiance: A Healer's Journey from Burnout to Blessing," on how burnout became a sacred initiation that informs my work today.
2. Guided Meditation to Strengthen Your Sense of Belonging
Please enjoy my 12-minute guided meditation Coming Home to Your True Belonging, to re-center and cultivate your sense of connection to All-That-Is.
3. Gifting and Receiving Ritual Group Activity
In my annual Solstice Celebration Retreat I guide a group ofstrangers in a mindful gifting-and-receiving ritual. With the intimate sharing in relational presence people feel the warmth of community, and the amazement of being truly seen.
That’s the spirit of women’s circles. Sharing forms a bond.
We belong because we contribute and are witnessed.
If you would like the ritual instructions for your own gathering, message me with "Gifting Ritual" and I’ll send you a PDF.
Coming Home
If this theme resonates with you or you’d like to learn moreabout the practice circles I offer, please reach back to me here.
Belonging deepens when we remember we are already connected.
This is the first step towards home.
As you move through the holidays and the transition to a new year, notice where connection is already trying to reach you–through nature, stillness, community, or your own awakening heart.
In the next part of this series, we’ll explore Boundaries–the sacred container that connects, protects and nourishes your belonging.
Thank you for being here, your presence means more than you know.
In kinship & wonder,
~Maureen